Matthew Kelly's Goals for Happiness

Matthew Kelly's Goals for Happiness

I recently listened to a Matthew Kelly CD entitled "Becoming the Best Version of Yourself".  I am now a Matthew Kelly fan.  Aside from that great Australian accent, which I love, the message was excellent and his humor a welcome addition.  The main message that I took away from the talk was this: Heavenly Father wants us to be happy, He has given us the tools to be happy, we know what these tools are and yet most of us don't use them to become happy.  (Ironic, isn't it?)

Matthew speaks of four fundamental pieces of our human lives where we can improve to lead us to happiness.   He lists these as physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual.  Below are my goals to improve my life in these four areas.  I began working on these goals on November 11th and hopefully I will report back after a while to see how I have been doing.  Your goals, should you choose to make some, may be different than mine but that is okay.

Physical - I vowed to take a break from fast food, pop (soda) and energy drinks.  These are strong addictions for me and since I drive for my job it is easy to run through the drive-thru for lunch but so far I have held firm on all of these goals.  I have had to offset the caffeine withdrawal headaches with excedrin daily.

Emotional - I have decided, most importantly, to spend more quality time playing with my 2 year old daughter.  I am also going to try to have a 10 minute conversation with my husband daily.  My secondary goal is to strengthen my visiting teaching and other Church relationships so that I can build a strong network of wonderful women.

Intellectual - For this one I vowed to play fewer games on my phone and computer and read and write more instead.  I am going to read at least 10 minutes a day from a book that I enjoy and that inspires me.  I am also going to try to blog, write in journals and/or work on my novel for 10 minutes a day.

Spiritual - These goals are actually the most important.  Without the spiritual, nothing else matters.  We can never be truly happy unless we have a close relationship with our Heavenly Father.  My spiritual goals are to pray and read Scripture or other Church literature daily.  Secondary to these most important goals I am going to work on family history or indexing weekly and faithfully complete my visiting teaching and attend the Temple monthly.

Anxiety and Depression

Surprising Topic in General Conference - Fall 2014

I was so excited when I heard the talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland entitled "Like a Broken Vessel".  Talking about mental illnesses like depression and anxiety are no longer taboo.  Even the Church is recognizing that they are real illnesses that must be dealt with just like a cold or a broken bone.  Mental illnesses are nothing to be ashamed of and having one doesn't mean that the person who suffers from such an illness has done anything to deserve it. 

I have suffered depression in the past, associated by my doctor to a hormone imbalance.  For a short time I took Prozac but I didn't like the way it made me feel and it was even worse to get off.  After that experience I decided I was never going to take depression medicine again.  I dealt with my short, light bouts of depression pretty easily, wading through the creeks of sadness when they came, knowing they would soon pass.  But after I gave birth to my daughter the depression deepened into a  flowing stream.

The post-pardom depression was really tough but didn't last long.  The anxiety that came along with being a new mom I figured would eventually subside.  I put on my waders and trudged across those streams of anxiety and depression as they came, sure that I would make it to the other side eventually.  But in the two years since my daughter has been born, instead of that stream trickling back down to a creek as I expected it had grown into a raging river.  Now I was wading more than I was on dry land and the rushing water was up to my chest.  I felt that if I lost my foothold I could have been washed away down stream at any moment.  I was beginning to worry that I might not make it through.  My negative thoughts and self perception were taking over.

I finally went to my doctor and described my issues to her.  I knew that she would suggest a medication and I was ready to tell her that I had tried Prozac and was not impressed.  My doctor was very sympathetic and shared her experiences of depression with me.  She strongly recommended I try Wellbutrin.  Although I agreed and even filled the prescription I did not take it.  I was still determined to fight this feeling of depression and anxiety on my own. 

Then, Heavenly Father started nudging me.  First, our Ward had a Relief Society Activity on depression and anxiety.  We gathered as a group of women and had a psychiatrist teach on anxiety and depression.  We had a wonderful discussion in which we learned that most of us suffered from anxiety or depression at one time in our lives.  The psychiatrist also described how medication works in our brain to help depression.  She explained that, while there was no 'happy pill', medication was important for stopping the downward spiral so that the brain could begin an upward spiral with counseling, positive thinking and other such therapies. 

Soon after that informative and eye-opening activity General Conference weekend came.  When Elder Holland started his talk with "...I wish to speak to those who suffer from some form of mental illness or emotional disorder..." I almost screamed in excitement.  I couldn't believe that a topic that has been hidden away out of embarassment was being brought to light in something as huge as a General Conference talk.  Bringing the subject up in General Conference made me feel like I didn't have anything to be ashamed of in dealing with my own bouts of depression.  I decided after that talk to take the Wellbutrin that my doctor had prescribed earlier.  Although nothing has been a quick fix and I still battle the raging river of depression, I am at least knee deep most of the time.  I hope to continue across that river to the other side and return back to my streams and creeks in the future.

I am happy to know that the Church recognizes that depression and anxiety are illnesses just like any other illness and we should not be ashamed if we suffer from such illnesses.  I am glad to know that there is hope for those of us who suffer from anxiety and depression and that taking medication for these illnesses is acceptable.  I am also comforted by the fact that I do not suffer from anxiety and depression alone and that millions of women and men suffer symptoms much as I do.  Depression and anxiety don't have to be lonely illnesses that one tucks away in a closet and pretends not to have.  Let's continue to talk about them and recognize that depression and anxiety are no more embarassing than a cough and runny nose.

Obedience

Obedience

I am teaching the lesson in Relief Society (Women's group) in Church on Sunday, July 28th.  The lesson is based on the talk "Obedience Brings Blessings" by President Thomas S. Monson from Spring Conference 2013.  I developed a little worksheet to go along with it.  Match the person to their act of obedience and the blessings that came as a result.  Answers are at the bottom.  Have fun!  :)

Who                  Act of Obedience                                    Blessings

Noah                 Willing to offer his son as sacrifice          Freedom of the Israelites from Egypt

Moses                Lived a sinless life and died on cross       Book of Mormon

Nephi                 Returned to Egypt, mouthpiece of God   Salvation of humankind

Joseph Smith     Stopped persecuting Christians                Safety of his family and animals

Abraham            Built an Ark                                              Spread Gospel furthest in 1st Century

Job                     Followed directions of Angel Moroni      Saved language and record of family

Jesus                  Never cursed God in his trials                  Blessed generations numerous as sand

Paul                   Returned for brass plates                           Blessed with more than he lost

"He that keepeth [God's] commandments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things."  Obedience is necessary to salvation.   Obedience is directly related to the happiness, peace, progress, prosperity and the eternal salvation and exaltation of God's people.  The greatest and most perfect example of obedience is Jesus Christ.

ANSWERS

Who                  Act of Obedience                                    Blessings

Noah                  Built an Ark                                             Safety of his family and animals

Moses                Returned to Egypt, mouthpiece of God   Freedom of Israelites from Egypt

Nephi                 Returned for brass plates                         Saved language and record of family

Joseph Smith     Followed directions of Angel Moroni     Book of Mormon

Abraham           Willing to offer his son as sacrifice         Blessed generations numerous as sand

Job                     Never cursed God in his trials                 Blessed with more than he lost

Jesus                  Lived a sinless life and died on cross      Salvation of humankind

Paul                   Stopped persecuting Christians                Spread Gospel furthest in 1st Century

Scripture Snippet - Proverbs 31

Scripture Snippet - Proverbs 31

This Scripture snippet came from a Relief Society Women's Conference.   To read the Proverb click here.  The passage is often referred to as the Proverbs Woman.  It is a passage where the King is recalling the advice his Mother gave him in choosing a woman to marry and become his queen.  Here are the thoughts that this passage evoked in me:

• I want to be a beautiful, faithful, virtuous, interesting, exciting, happy, fun woman.
• I want to be a woman other people want to be around.
• I want to be a woman other women want to be like and look up to.
• I want to be a woman who speaks no ill and lifts up rather than breaking down.
• I want to think more often before I speak and contemplate more in my actions.
• I want to be a woman who focuses on spiritual goals and holds high spiritual things.
• I want to be a woman people look at and say 'that is a woman of faith'.
• I want to create a Christ-centered home.
• I want to judge others less and have fewer negative feelings.
• I want the word 'charismatic' to describe me.
• I want to put others first while feeling better about myself.

Unsharpened Pencil

"Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil, there is no point."

- unknown

Scripture Snippet - 2 Nephi 2:25

Scripture Snippet - 2 Nephi 2:25

This Scripture snippet is one that most Latter Day Saints know well. To learn more about the Book of Mormon go to Mormon.org.

"Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."

My thoughts and feelings:

• Adam chose to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil so that he could be with Eve and fulfill Heavenly Father's command to 'go forth and multiply'. 
• Adam and Eve felt the possibility of experiencing joy outweighed the risk of sorrow and pain.  In order to have true joy, to return to Heavenly Father and even to have the potential to be like Heavenly Father it was necessary that they (we) experience sorrow, pain, disappointment, etc. 

What we can learn from this passage:

• The reward of joy, health, happiness, faith, hope and love far out weigh anything we have to face here on earth.
• We must pass through a lifetime of sorrow and sin in order to live for eternity in joy.

Scripture Snippet - 1 Nephi 3:7

Scripture Snippets - 1 Nephi 3:7

This Scripture snippet is one of my favorite scriptures and a concept that I whole-heartedly believe in.  To learn more about the Book of Mormon go to Mormon.org.

Synopsis:

Nephi's father Lehi has been asked to do a hard thing, his entire family is supposed to leave all of their valuables, take only what they need to survive and leave their home. Then Nephi and his brothers are told they must go back to their home and get the record plates from Laban, a greedy and evil man. Nephi's brothers grumble and say the task is impossible but Nephi answers with this quote, "...The Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." - 1 Nephi 3:7

My thoughts and feelings:

• The Lord makes a way.  If the Lord asks you to do something He will make a way for it to be done. 
• This does not insure that the way will be easy, only that it will be possible.
• The Lord will never ask more from us than we are capable of.  Therefore, we can be assured that if He has asked us to do something, it is something we can accomplish.

What we can learn from this passage:

• We are never given anything for free, we must do our part.
• Sometimes we are asked to do things that we do not think we can do. We may feel inadequate or overwhelmed, but if we have faith in God and we are willing to work we will find ourselves being stretched and doing more than we ever thought possible.

Scripture Snippet - Psalm 37

Scripture Snippet - Psalm 37

This Scripture snippet was inspired by a friend of my Mom's who suggested she read this Psalm when she was having problems with another family member who was trying to make her life difficult. To read the Psalm click here.

My thoughts and feelings:

• The righteous shall be rewarded.  The righteous will be taken care of and will not want for anything. 
• The wicked shall be punished.
• God can see the grand scheme and make sense of things we do not understand.
• Bad things happen to good people but they are temporary and God never leaves the righteous.

What we can learn from this passage:

• Don't waste time thinking about the wicked because their time will come when they will be held accountable for their actions.
• Worry only about your own actions and let God handle the rest of the worrying.

Scripture Snippet - Psalm 117

Scripture Snippet - Psalm 117

This Scripture snippet is of one of the shortest Psalms.  This Psalm is simple, to the point and beautiful.  I am going to try to commit it to memory so that I can say it often.

"O Praise the Lord, all ye nations: Praise Him, all ye people.  For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the Lord endureth forever.  Praise ye the Lord." - Psalm 117

My thoughts and feelings:

• Praise the Lord for his mercy and truth.  Give thanks for the goodness of God.  Marvel in His eternal greatness.  Benefit from His mercy and ultimate forgiveness. 
• Look forward to the day of judgment when the Lord, a fair and righteous judge will look at you and in you.  We will be given the chance to truly see ourselves as He sees us.  I hope I like what I see.

What we can learn from this passage:

• Heavenly Father's mercy, patience and forgiveness are never-ending.  As many times as we require forgiveness, He will forgive.  As many times as we require 'second chances' they will be awarded us.

Scripture Snippet - Matthew 1:18-25

Scripture Snippet - Matthew 1:18-25

This Scripture snippet speaks of Joseph, Mary's soon to be husband, and how he handled finding out that Mary was pregnant. To read the Chapter click here. To learn more about the Book of Mormon go to Mormon.org.

My thoughts and feelings:

• These eight verses tell us so much about Joseph and what a good and faithful man he was.
• In verses 18-19 Mary is found to be pregnant and Joseph knows he isn't the Father as this happens 'before they came together'.  He could have publicly humiliated her or even had her put to death by the customs and laws of the day and yet, for her sake, 'was minded to put her away privily', or in other words handle the affair privately.
• In verses 10-21 Joseph is visited in a dream by an angel who explains Mary's pregnancy.  Complete faith and worthiness is necessary for the visit of such a holy figure to appear.
• In verses 24-25, following the visit from the angel, Joseph marries Mary and she remains a virgin until after Jesus' birth.  Joseph followed the directions of the angel.

What we can learn from this passage:

• From Joseph we can learn to be good and kind despite what appears to be injustice to us.  We can remember to be less interested in how we appear to others and more intent on doing the right thing. 
• We can also always work to be worthy to receive the guidance of Heavenly Father and to accept and follow that guidance when it is given.

Joseph teaching Jesus the art of carpentry

Spiritual Goals

Spiritual Goals

Be more positive

Kneel in prayer daily

Read Scriptures daily

Trust Heavenly Father

Be a good example

Find service opportunities

Reconcile negative feelings

Choose productive past-times

Appreciate people and blessings

Scripture Snippet - 1 Nephi 4:6-18

The Death of Laban

Scripture Snippet - 1 Nephi 4:6-18

This Scripture snippet is the story of when Nephi is ordered by the Lord to kill Laban. To read the Chapter click here. To learn more about the Book of Mormon go to Mormon.org.

My thoughts and feelings:

• This story raises a great deal of questions.  Why would the Lord order one man to kill another?  Does this passage mean that executions are acceptable?  What are the terms of an acceptable execution?  What does this passage mean for capital punishment?
• I have always had difficulty with this passage.  However, as I searched the Scriptures I found several other examples of when the Lord has condoned the killing of others for the good of the His people: 
• The most obvious example is David and Goliath.  David was commanded and given strength to kill the giant Philistine - Goliath in the First Book of Samuel, Chapter 17.
• The woman, Jael, kills the Captain, Sisera.  The deliverance of Sisera was foretold by the Prophetess, Debra, in the Book of Judges, Chapter 4.
• The Israelites were commanded several times to kill other peoples in the quest for the promised land.  One of the most famous examples is the story of Jericho where the people march around the city for seven days, blow the trumpets and the walls fall down so that they can overtake the city.  This story is found in Joshua, Chapter 6.
• The story of Nephi killing Laban with his own sword while Laban is in a drunken stupor is so raw and brutal.  Death is so final.  However, the Lord explains to Nephi that "it is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief."  1 Nephi 4:13.
• Laban had a choice to give up the plates.  He was even given an opportunity to trade the plates for all of the gold in Lehi's house.  He made the wrong choice and suffered the consequences of his greed and stubbornness.  Much like the Pharoah of Egypt who chose not to let the Israelites go and caused the suffering of all of Egypt through the consequences of his decision.  Many people died because of his pride and hardness of heart.

What we can learn from this passage:

• One of the ten commandments states 'thou shalt not kill'. God has ordered this commandment to be broken in several circumstances, just as he orders Nephi to break the commandment here.
• The difference between this story and general killings (capital punishment) is that the Lord selected Laban for death and ordered his death by the hand of Nephi. Men select those who die by capital punishment.


In the rule in the Old Testament of an 'eye for and eye and a tooth for a tooth' the killing of a man would only be acceptable if he himself had taken a life.  However, when Jesus came His message was of love and forgiveness and His law surpassed the old law. 
Heavenly Father allows us to suffer the consequences of our own choices because He loves us enough not to interfere in our agency.

Scripture Snippets - Lamentations 1

Scripture Snippets - Lamentations 1

In this first Scripture Snippet I will be contemplating the first Chapter of Lamentations.  To read the Chapter click here.  Below is a synopsis according to LDS.org.

Jeremiah laments the miserable condition of Jerusalem - Jerusalem herself complains of her deep sorrow.

My thoughts and feelings:

• Jeremiah describes utter loneliness.  What once was great (Jerusalem) is no more.  Jeremiah has no one to count on, no one to trust.  He is a lone voice crying out in the midst of sin.
• Jeremiah shows such sympathy for the people of Jerusalem even though he tried to warn them and they disregarded his warnings and treated him harshly. 
• Such sadness and devastation are described in the passages; "How doth the city sit solitary, that was full of people!" Verse 1a. 
• Such utter pain and sorrow; "mine eye, mine eye runneth down with water..." Verse 16.

What we can learn from this passage:

• Recognize the sorrow and tribulation of others and be grateful for what you have.
• Heavenly Father did not cause all of these bad things to happen, he allowed Jerusalem to suffer the consequences of her own sins.  Heavenly Father does not cause bad things to happen in our lives but he does allow us to suffer the consequences of our choices.  Just as a good parent will allow a child to suffer the consequences of their mistakes so that they learn from the small mistakes and don't make the big ones.
• I am grateful that Heavenly Father is a loving and caring Father who allowed us to have agency and does not protect us from the consequences of our mistakes.  

The Moon

Have you ever given the moon much thought?  What is it doing up there, circling around the earth?  What is its purpose?  Many people would say that it is just a rock caught in the earth's atmosphere, circling the earth and reflecting light from the sun .  To me the moon is far more than that.  It is a testament to Heavenly Father.  The moon, along with the stars, are a reminder that Heavenly Father's reach is far beyond this planet.  It is a reminder that every thing from the farthest star to the smallest insect has a purpose and is part of God's plan.  With a word he created the Heaven's and the Earth through Jesus Christ. 

"And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years: And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.  And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also."
- Genesis 1:14-16