Good, Better, Best

My Talk on Good, Better, Best by Dallin H. Oaks

The talk I’ve been asked to speak on is a Conference talk by Dallin H. Oaks entitled ‘Good, Better, Best’.  I was ecstatic when I was told this was the talk because it is one of my absolute favorites and a concept that I apply often.  When my life gets hectic and my to-do list stretches to an unimaginable length I realize that it is time to reevaluate.  Generally, I break things up in to categories of absolutely necessary, Good, Better and Best.  Absolutely necessary items such as work, school, paying bills and eating must be done no matter what.  These are items I’m not going to spend any time with because there is no discussion to be had over these things.  It is the three other categories that I’m going to dive into. 

I will begin by giving the same example as Elder Oaks as I find it is one of the best references to the topic in Scripture.  It is the story of Martha and Mary which I imagine most of you know well.  The story is in Luke, Chapter 10.  Jesus was visiting Martha and Mary in their home and Martha was preparing the meal and serving Jesus.  Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet and it appeared to Martha that she was doing nothing while Martha was doing all of the work.  Naturally, Martha was not very happy about this and approached Jesus, asking him, and I’m paraphrasing here, don’t you care that I’m doing all of the work while my sister does nothing?  Tell her to help me.  “And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”  Jesus wasn’t saying that Martha’s work wasn’t good or necessary but He was saying that there was something better to be doing at that time and that was hearing the Word of the Lord.

Elder Oaks says we should “consider how we use our time in the choices we make in viewing television, playing video games, surfing the Internet, or reading books or magazines.”  He says “it is good to view wholesome entertainment or obtain interesting information but not everything of that sort is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it.”  While these activities are good there are things that are better and best.  And sometimes we have to give up some good things in order to make room for these better and best activities.  

Today our lives are filled with complication and excess.  We need a little more simplicity.  We need to slow down and breath.  One of my husband’s favorite sayings is that we are running around like chickens with our heads cut off, and he was a farm boy so he knows exactly how crazy that looks!  According to Elder Oaks we need to “weed out the excessive and ineffective busyness” in all areas of our lives. 

Our complicated lives can sometimes mimic a hamster on a wheel.  We are busy running on that wheel but other than keeping us busy our actions don’t get us anywhere or produce anything useful.  Our goal for our activities should be to lift, encourage or change something for the good.  This can be in ourselves or others.  Good examples of worthy activities are our callings.  When we are instructed to magnify our callings it is for the building of our character and the serving of the Church and its members.  Elder Oaks says, “The instruction to magnify our callings is not a command to embellish and complicate them.”   When we magnify our callings without getting caught up in the statistics and paperwork we focus on the best activities without getting bogged down.

According to President DieterF. Uchtdorf “When we look at the foundational principles of the plan of happiness, the plan of salvation, we can recognize and appreciate in its plainness and simplicity the elegance and beauty of our Heavenly Father’s wisdom.”  The search for the best things inevitably leads to the foundational principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ – the simple and beautiful truths revealed to us by a caring, eternal, and all-knowing Father in Heaven.

During his mission on this earth Jesus Christ was always simplifying things.  He was constantly in dispute with the Pharisees about their focus on the many rules and regulations at the expense of their relationship with Heavenly Father and the people that they were meant to serve.  One of the greatest examples from the teachings of Jesus was in Chapter 22 of Matthew when a lawyer asked him which of all of the commandments was the greatest.  Although there are 10 official commandments there are hundreds of laws in the Old Testament, 613 to be exact.  For the Lawyer to ask Jesus to pick one was a test of Jesus’ knowledge of the Scripture and ability to narrow down 613 commandments in to the most significant single command.  Jesus answers “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”  The most amazing thing about this scripture is that Jesus simplified 613 laws in to two great commandments.  But only slightly less impressive is that the lawyer had no rebuttal after Jesus’ answer!

Simplicity in our activities is necessary at every level but most importantly when it comes to family.  Good and better activities should never infringe on family time.  This goes for entertainment, school and even Church activities.  Satan has launched an all-out attack on the family.  One of our greatest ways to fight this war on the family is to strengthen our own family.  This can be done through meaningful family together time.  The question is, ‘what constitutes meaningful family together time’?  As I contemplated this question an example from the movie ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ came to mind.  To give you a little background, Sam, one of the main characters, has a strained relationship with his Father because his Father travels a great deal for his job and doesn’t spend a lot of time involved in his son’s life.  A friend asks Sam about his favorite vacation.  Sam answers, “A few years ago, I went with my dad to Greenland on one of his expeditions and the ship broke down and we got stuck, and it rained constantly.”  His friend smirks and says, “That sounds really boring.”  And Sam says, “It was actually pretty nice, just me and my dad hanging out for ten days.”  To Sam the one-on-one time with his Dad was more important than the location or activities of the vacation.

More than anything else, our children want our attention.  I read an article about a woman in Parent’s magazine that talked about how to simplify our lives and spend more time with our children.  She gave the example that she used to spend hours planning and preparing a homemade, gourmet meal to feed to her family every night.  While she was working on the meal she would constantly be frustrated by her children’s attempts to get her attention.  When she decided to give up the fancy dinners for simple meals she found that not only did her family not starve but she noticed that her children seemed happier and she had a great deal more time to enjoy with them before dinner.

I also have an example from my own childhood.  My parents spent a great deal of time with me and my sister.  My Mother felt that family time was important.  We went on many vacations and did many fun activities but what I remember most about growing up was something far simpler.  For a long time when my sister and I were little our tradition before bed was for my parents to sit in the rocking chairs in the living room and my sister and I would climb up into their laps and we would sing soft songs like ‘You are my sunshine’ and ‘Rock-a-bye baby’.  Half way through singing my sister and I would switch laps just to make it fair so that we sat on each lap a fair amount of time.  We were heavy into equality. 

It was these simple activities like being stuck together due to a rain storm, shorter meal prep in order to make time for playing and sitting on a parent’s lap to sing songs before bedtime that meant the most to the children.  Better and Best activities don’t require elaborate plans or fancy complications.  The activities are better and best partially due to their simplicity.  The ability to accomplish such activities without a great deal of stress and forethought is what allows them to be better.

When we talk about simplifying our lives that means we simplify all parts of our lives.  Over-scheduling ourselves and our families leaves little time for our families to spend time together on activities that are better and best.  According to Elder Oaks, “the amount of time parents and children spend in the good events of sports, lessons and other after school activities can sometimes leave no time for the better and best activities of family prayer, scripture study, family home evening and other precious togetherness and one-on-one time that binds families together and fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth.” Even Church activities can become overwhelming at times. 

So how do we know which activities are good, which are better and which are best?  In studying Elder Oaks talk I came up with a simple way to figure it out.  The Good activities are those that enrich our lives.  The better activities are those that enrich our lives and those around us.  The best activities are those that enrich our lives, enrich the lives of those around us and increase our relationship with Heavenly Father.  I’ll say that again.  Good activities are those that enrich our lives.  Better activities enrich our lives and the lives of others.  And best activities enrich our lives, other’s lives and our relationship with Heavenly Father.  That is the litmus test you can use on your activities to determine how worthy they are of your time.

Here are some examples of good, better and best Church activities from Elder Oaks’ talk.  It is good to fulfill our obligation of home and visiting teaching by visiting our families or sisters.  It is better to visit and share a message.  It is best to make a meaningful difference in their lives.  Or in the case of Church meetings it is good to hold a meeting.  It is better to teach a principle at the meeting.  But it is best to improve the lives of those who attend as a result of the meeting. 

In order to figure out what is good, better and best we need only consider how the activity affects our lives and the lives of others.  For example, television and computer games are well and good but they do little to enrich our lives.  At best they fill some empty time and keep us from focusing on our busy lives or our problems for a while.  Therefore these activities qualify as good as long as they are wholesome programs and games that aren’t in opposition with Scripture and the beliefs of the Church.  Other good activities include team sports, lessons and other extracurricular activities.

Better activities would include those that enrich our lives and the lives of others.  Some of these activities include family game night, service opportunities and home and visiting teaching.  These activities affect the lives of others in a positive way and work to enrich lives.

The best activities are those that build healthy relationships between ourselves and others or ourselves and Heavenly Father.  Activities such as Family Home Evening with scripture study and a spiritual thought or a primary lesson teaching young children an important Gospel principle are best activities.  The best activities have the ultimate goal of achieving what Doctrine and Covenants designates as “the greatest of all the gifts of God” which is eternal life.  Ultimately, that is the purpose of our existence on this earth, to make it through trial and tribulation on this path called life in a way that is pleasing to Heavenly Father in order to prepare ourselves to return to Him.

I testify that if you focus your efforts on activities that are best, giving up some activities that are good if necessary in order to make more room in your life for better things that you will be blessed.  Heavenly Father rewards our efforts to enrich the lives of others and looks favorably on those who dedicate a fair amount of time to building their relationships with Him and their families.  I testify of Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation that makes returning to our Heavenly Father possible.  After all that we are able to do we still need Jesus Christ and the Atonement to bridge the gap and guide us to our true potential as sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. 

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.